LIVE PLAY BY PLAY REVIEW: Karaoke World Championships Part Two

The next singer guy performed Broken earlier as a duet with some girl and performed some stupid song that we think Brian Youdunno must be a big fan of… “Don’t Fall Away” or “In My Hands” or whatever it’s called. He relied on his affected voice too heavily, but so did the guy who originally sang it. Also his oooohs at the end were definitely out of key.

Karen gave him a brown two. I thought that was kind of harsh.
Angie gave him a six but switched to a four after Karen yelled “What!?!?!?”
Pete voted three for Three Doors Down who he imagines sings the song… Right or wrong.

“Hey Ya” came on for the sixth performer, but she claimed it wasn’t her song. While she waited for another song to cue up, she demanded that her mother take photos of her. That was so rock and roll. Angie gives her a one for not performing “Hey Ya.” She chose the song “The First Cut is the Deepest.” She did it fine with her smoker’s voice I guess. I too would have prefered “Hey Ya.”

Kar gives her a five she guesses.
Pete gives her a four but gives the stagemother a NINE!!!!!

This post is now sooo Matt Lyd-ian in length that it has expanded into a second post.

Why is everyone from Pittsburgh? Isn’t there anyone talented in East Stroudsburg or Wilkes Barre who could have made the trek?

The next performer had a vision of love and it was all that you’d given to her. She was pretty damn good. Too bad she didn’t do Johnny B. Goode or look like Kenny Rogers.

Karen gave her a 9 but thinks it would have been better if the mic wasn’t up so loud.
Angie gave her a ten because she wants to give a ten to someone.
Pete gave her a ten for having all the talent for American Idol but all the awkwardness of Karaoke.

My thumbs officially hurt.

The eighth performer did a song that I didn’t recognize, perhaps called “Take It Back.” Angie wonders if the tattoo on the upper back/lower neck is the new tramp stamp. This chick can sing but loses points because NO ONE has ever heard this song… Except maybe her mom. Stupid.

Kar thinks she was too young to do that song and gave her a four.
Angie gives her a three because she agrees with Kar that the song was boring but she liked the dramatic hugs the singer got after the performance.
Pete gave a five.

The mom just said, “WTF. I don’t know why the crowd didn’t respond. That was dynamite.”

The last contestant was actually from Philly and performed “Bring Me to Life” after warming up with a duet on that song by that other band that the chick who sings “Bring Me to Life” also sings on. Her voice is too weak to pull off this song. Which is too bad because I was pulling for her since she was sitting at the table next to us. (Weird. The guy who she dueted with earlier is singing the guy parts of this song along with her at his table. Angie suspects he loves her. She may be right, but apparently he can only communicate with her through song. It’s tragic really.)

Kar gives her an eight but that includes an extra point for being from Philly.
Angie gives her two points for having someone listen to her via cellphone. Two points for her secret lover sing along. Only one point for the song because it sucks. And two points for potentially being the only person from Philly for a total of Seven.
Pete gives her a nine because Uncle Bill came up from Florida to see her and Aunt Buppy was on the phone.

Woooooh. Stop the presses. A new performer has stormed the stage and demanded the opportunity to perform. He’s unscheduled. If he wins it will be an epic but controversial upset.

He’s performing “Walking in Memphis.”

Oh he sucks. Totally. Kenny Rogers is safe. How disappointing.

Walking in Memphis guy may have broken the mic. He’s so embarassingly bad yet completely earnest.

Kar gives him silence.
Angie gives him a four for chasing away the angry grannies.
Pete gives him a minus one in honor of Hulk 600. He showed no respect for competition by entering so late.

The judges chose four girls and two guys to move on to round 2.

But there’s controversy!!!!!

Only three women can move on to the next round. Joyce the chick with almost no pants on has been kicked out of the second round after being announced as a qualifier!

The crowd is stunned.

There’s utter silence.

OH MY GOD!

Walking in Memphis has now advanced in place of no-pants girl and the secret lover dude… Secret Lover dude is arguing with the judges.

This may be the most exciting moment in the history of the World Karaoke Championships.

I’m stunned.

My battery is about to die. We’re out of time folks!