Monday Night Raw Warm Up for March 4th, 2013

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Last Monday’s short lived physical confrontation between Vince McMahon (purple suit) and Paul Heyman (track suit) laid the ground work for a rematch between Triple H and Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 29.

Last week’s episode of Raw saw a beast bloodied, TOUTs touted, the prodigal son return, the fighting Irishman take to a tux, moustaches twirled in a villainous manner, Antonio Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler each eat another loss in their respective matches, and the chairman make some questionable wardrobe choices.  The biggest news coming out of the show was the main event for WrestleMania being finalized, but the Rock’s rematch with John Cena may have been overshadowed by another match for the ages between Cena and C.M. Punk. This week’s Raw from Buffalo, NY goes “old-school” in what will surely be a fun legend-filled show.  While we may get some questionable ’80s styled outfits, none will top Vince McMahon’s purple suit from last week.

THE JASON:  The top two matches for this year’s WrestleMania were clearly defined by the end of last week’s show. I could talk all night about Brock Lesnar and HHH, but I think we need to discuss Vince McMahon’s purple suit.  Brock and HHH may had a pretty wild brawl which saw Brock busted open (because he’s a maniac and smashed his face on the ring post way harder than necessary), an FU (called an F5 by Michael Cole, of course) on the announce table and HHH end the segment standing tall, but my focus was entirely on Vince’s attire.  Did he show up for the old school Raw a week early?  Is Vince going to be the new Godfather?  Who really would wear a purple suit?  If Vince is a pimp… then who are the hos?

And does anyone really want the answers?

PTB: I certainly don’t have them, but I would like to know why we can’t see Heyman get the best of Vince just once.

PTB: Triple H vs Brock way better with blood and that’s usually not my thing.

THE JASON:  On the other end of the show we got an early candidate for match of the year.  I was wrong in guessing that Undertaker would interfere, and I’m glad they went with a match that didn’t feature any shenanigans.  It’s impressive how Cena and Punk have built on each of their previous efforts.  This match would have been tremendous as the headline match at WrestleMania, and I’m not sure you can get a better matchup between two guys on the roster right now.  Both guys varied up their moveset and I really enjoyed how they kept it inside the ring.  I’m still not sure Cena getting a pinfall win over Punk is the right decision in the long run, but it serves the story that they are telling now that Cena can overcome the guys he hasn’t been able to best recently.  I’m guessing he gets a win over Big Show in the run-up to Mania.

PTB: Punk’s promo was brilliant but it was outshone by the match he and Cena turned in. As we’ve both been saying, it really should be a WrestleMania feud. It’s had years to escalate and instead we get Punk putting both Cena and the Rock over in the run up, and a match of the year candidate on some Raw in February. I’ll back off on it for this year now that things are unlikely to be shaken up, but these two need to have a WrestleMania main event. Call it an overstatement if you like, but here’s what we’re missing this year:

THE JASON:  Speaking of Undertaker, they made sure to show the TOUT of his house show return onscreen.  Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of TOUTing?  Is that even the right word?  If twitter is to tweets then wouldn’t tout be to.. toots?

PTB: Let’s not legitimize TOUTing by trying to conjugate it. The Taker is back and therefore, back for WrestleMania to continue the streak. With Punk out of the WWE Championship picture, he seems the clear choice to take on the Dead Man. I like it. I may even love it, but I don’t like the idea of seeing Punk lose again. Make no mistake about it, he will lose. The run up to the match will be incredible though.

RAW_1031_Photo_044_CM_PunkTHE JASON:  I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason Zeb Colter has that moustache is so that he can twirl it in an evil manner.  It’s not like WWE are masters of subtlety.  Just in case anyone agrees with his and Swagger’s platform, the moustache is there to remind us that they are the bad guys.

PTB: I think this angle ends with “illegals” claiming squatters rights in Colter’s moustache.

THE JASON:  The wheels keep coming off of this whole “WE THE PEOPLE” business each week.  Granted, it’s hard to see any logic when Zeb’s argument is that Del Rio came to the USA to become successful.  Um, isn’t Del Rio’s whole gimmick that he’s RICH??? You don’t think this guy could get dual citizenship? HE’S SUPPOSED TO RICH. Beyond that, if they were basing this on the real world he was a CMLL Heavyweight champion in Mexico, so I think he was already pretty successful.  And really, whose job is he taking?.  Maybe I’m over-thinking this. They are slurring the words of “We The People!” I must retort with an E Plebnista to this whole affair.  E Plebnista is all I hear during these segments.

PTB: You might be thinking about this more than anyone. I really want to like Swagger’s big return and pushing some buttons with the social commentary, but I don’t think I can. WWE has extensive international representation right now, but pulling sound bites from conservative pundits and throwing them at a Mexican wrestler with a well established aristocrat gimmick makes no sense.

THE JASON: Del Rio standing around somewhere between 8 minutes and forever to respond was pretty ridiculous as well.  At least this whole debacle ended with The Miz getting whacked in the back of the head and who doesn’t love that?  Show of hands, please.

PTB: I try not to go negative here, but Miz is terrible. Much like Swagger, I want his gimmick to be good, but he just cannot pull it together as the “host” of his Miz TV interview segment. He just postures and assumes the crowd will get behind him, but half the time he’s saying less than Del Rio did last week. It can’t go away fast enough.

THE JASON:  A quick memo to the Primetime Players:  If you get beat by a guy with one arm tied behind his back and his partner with a bag on his head… you might be a jobber.

PTB: And then they beat Kane and Daniel Bryan on Smackdown when they reverse who was blindfolded and who was down to one arm. I feel like I don’t get the plan with these tag teams. They introduce guys that have all the trappings I want in a team: a name, a gimmick, color coordination; and the moment they get any traction they get buried.

RAW_1031_Billy_Jack_HaynesTHE JASON:  Sheamus, in formal attire, served up a commerical for that WWE produced Colin Farrell movie that features Wade Barrett in a very minor role.  Much was made of Wade’s brief time in the film.  I did not laugh.  Sheamus did.  The audience was with me.  Two segments later, Sheamus was all serious and confronted the Shield.  I don’t know what the plans are but man do I hope they keep the Shield away from Orton, Sheamus and Ryback.  As for tonight, I would really enjoy seeing Sheamus dressed as Billy Jack Haynes, Orton as his father and Ryback as The Warlord.  That would make their presence slightly more acceptable.

PTB: Like Swagger, and Miz, and Wade Barrett, I know I want more from tonight’s Old School Raw than I’m likely to get, and we’re not getting any reference to Billy Jack Haynes.

THE JASON: If nothing else, if Vince’s purple suit is going to make a return appearance it better be tonight or never again.

Read more about World Wrestling Entertainment on MyLatestDistraction.

Keep up with all of our weekly Monday Night Raw Warm Ups:
February 25th, 2012 edition / March 11th, 2013 edition 

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