Funny the way THIS is…

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but, I think I liked some of the new Dave Matthews Band music. Heard clips from their new album, Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King, on Sound Opinions on NPR, and thought, wow, is this really the Dave Matthews Band? It actually ROCKED. As soon as I felt that, I had questions. What could be further from punk rock, and the other styles of music I love so, than the Dave Matthews Band? I’ve said it in my home blog that I dislike Dave Matthews Band, and I want to keep that record unbroken, but here I am, wondering if I’ve been wrong this whole time.

So, I had to put it to the test. One listen does not a good opinion make, but I’ve heard the lead-off single a number of times in my wife’s car (which I’m driving while she’s out of town working), and I can’t believe the THRUST of the Dave Matthews Band on this tune. Couldn’t remember the name of the tune, so I searched for it, and went to the band’s website, where there’s a streamable version of said track, “Funny The Way It Is”, along with a video. Well alright! Pressed play, and waited for the thrust, ballsy DMB to assail my ears and prove to me that my initial impressions were correct, and…

I kept waiting. For 4 and a half minutes. Yep, it’s the right song, right title, etc, etc, but that thrust and rock bravado I thought was there?

Turns out it’s only the massive low end of the speakers in my wife’s Malibu. Those factory speakers gave the DMB’s music the balls it has always lacked. Still lacks. The lyrics, still vapid. The melodies, though bulletproof, do absolutely nothing for me, and the violin? Boyd Tinsley, how is it you play the world’s most expressive stringed instrument, an axe that has been called the closest man can get to recreating the human voice, an instrument that has moved millions to tears with its emotional intensity, and yet, your parts and solos sound exactly the same every time: boring, uninspired and totally lifeless? Where’s Itzhak Perlman, Hilary Hahn, or even that old dude who plays violin in Gogol Bordello? Hell, I’d rather hear Charlie Daniels or the dude who played “Eugene’s Lament” on the Beastie Boys Ill Communication album.

You know what I say, though? What a relief! I can keep on disliking Dave Matthews Band’s music until the sky falls into the ocean. Or until some satellite crashes into me, or whatever nonsense passes as a DMB lyric.