Over the next three weeks, I will be doing a little bit of an Oscar preview for MLD, posted every Friday.  The Oscars will be televised on March 7 at 8pm on ABC.  I do not know who will be hosting, but I am sure it will be someone hilarious.  This year the Academy decided to change the number of Oscar nominees for Best Picture from five to ten, since every year we have so many great movies.  Each of the ten movies will be discussed at length (I’m sure at too much length for some people’s attention span).  The third week will have Oscar Predictions along with several other movies that will be remembered from 2009.

And to the list:

Avatar
Everyone loves Avatar. It is beautifully shot, well directed, but too long. Netflix tells me if I like this movie I’d like Aliens (Liked), Alien (Liked), Battle for Terra (Never Saw), and The Fifth Element (Liked). Since I liked three of the four recommendations, it is clear that I probably should like Avatar. The truth is the Alien movies are tightly constructed pieces of sci-fi horror. The Fifth Element is campy sci fi, through and through. They know what they are and executed it well. Avatar, on the other hand, tries to be everything to everybody. It really is just a bloated mess with a lot of shiny objects.

Avatar should win all of the technical achievement Oscars, though it may not deserve it. I always thought Cameron’s underwater documentaries created the 3D tech for Avatar, but this may be overlooked come voting time. It has a shot at Best Director, even if the movie has a weak script. Best Picture: Probably not. You need a great writing. The other action-oriented epics that won Best Picture had better writing. See: Brave Heart, Gladiator. Yes, Gladiator is a better film. Pitch Black is a better film, but that is another discussion for another day.

An Education
I never saw An Education. Hopefully it is great and I will be blown away when it comes around on Lifetime three years from now.  I know nothing about it, so I will relay the synopsis: A girl is in school (high school, I think) and meets an older guy.  They have a relationship of some sort and it may be bad for her.  It sounds like garbage and I will not watch it unless they sneak it into a Saturday marathon of Top Chef.

Netflix tells me that the movies like this are Almost Famous (Liked), Lady Jane (Never saw), Big (Liked), and American Graffiti (Mixed). That can’t be right. I want to refresh this list and try another, but I cant. This movie cannot be as funny as Almost Famous or Big. After reading the description, I’m starting to wonder whether Netflix knows anything about movies.

An Education will not win Best Picture. The lead in this movie is some girl named Carey Mulligan. She has no shot at winning Best Actress. She’s up against Sandra Bullock and her fake blonde hair, Helen Mirren, Gabourney Sibide from Precious, and Meryl Streep. Actually, I hope Carey Mulligan wins after reading the list of nominees. The Best Actress nominees are getting as bad as baseball’s Gold Glove winners: It is the same people every year regardless of how good they are. I’m officially on Team Carey.

Inglourious Basterds
This is the best all around movie of the year. It was a Tarantino film, which means it could be bloated and talky for some people’s tastes. For the first time, though, this QT movie had a well-constructed central plot. The dialogue built character, rather than reinforced a level of “cool” that permeates other QT pictures. It may be his best movie. Not his most influential. Not his most quotable. His best.

It will win Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz. It is a strong contender for Best Picture, along with The Hurt Locker and Avatar. With three strong contenders, this could become one of those Give-Everyone-An-Award Years. Cameron could get Director, Hurt Locker could win Best Picture, and QT would walk away with Original Screenplay and Cinematography. Kathryn Bigelow, from The Hurt Locker, may win Best Director, which would be the first time a woman has ever won the award. The Academy likes first time-things. It shows they are progressive. Anyway, we will see if this ends up being a spread-the-wealth year.

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
I never will see this movie. Okay. Maybe I will come around to it. It’s about some girl that had a rough life. One of the problems with movies like this one is that they always try to one up each other. In a few years there will be a movie about a person with a more fucked up life than Precious, or whoever the worst-life-ever “it” boy/girl is at the time. That is why I will not watch it. I know I have seen it before, but with a life a notch less crappy.

Mo’Nique should be the only Oscar winner. The rest of the categories appear out of reach. This seems like a movie that may have a Best Song or something. I wouldn’t know. I am not even going to check. This could win Best Song.  I think Mariah Carey is in it.  She has to sing something.  Netflix names similar movies as Milk (Never Saw), A Walk on the Moon (Never Saw, though I probably should… Diane Lane), Quinceanera (What?), and The Kite Runner (Never Saw). All of these movies smell like awards garbage. Precious seems terrible by association.

Up!
Up! was great. There really is nothing bad to say about this movie. It is sad at the beginning, it is very funny in the middle, and it is touching at the end. I hate the term “life affirming” because I am only 28 and nothing bad has ever happened to me, but this movie seems like it fits the term.

Up! should not have worked. Talking dogs should have been corny. Quirky colorful birds should have been cheesy. The fat kid should have been annoying. The old cranky guy should have been cliché. None of this should have worked, but it did. It all did. It was great.

Up! should win best Animated Feature. It has no shot at Best Picture, though I would rank it either #2 or #3 behind Inglourious Basterds. If it won, which it wont, then no film should feel slighted.

Go to Oscar Night In America, week two.

The Book of Eli is the story of a man’s journey across the barren wasteland of a world destroyed by war.  It’s a story of human nature and faith, and I really enjoyed it.

Everything on the screen looks amazing from the first frame. The presentation is visually stunning using a stark and desaturated palette that perfectly suits the world the story takes place in. A large number of close-ups begin many of the scenes, giving them an epic quality. These shots almost seemed to be overused at one point, but turned out to be an excellent storytelling device as the focus of the close-ups shifts late in the movie.

The score and audio effects used were also amazing, adding a real depth to events.  In particular, two scenes featuring brutal attacks on a defenseless Mila Kunis and the final confrontation between Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman were incredibly powerful as the sound almost went to white noise, overloading my senses.

If there was anything to complain about it was that some of the visuals drew my attention away from the story. At times, Eli’s clothes looked too clean. After a fairly graphic fight scene there was almost not enough blood on the ground. Too much water was spilled for the value that was placed on it, and I couldn’t help but notice some product/brand placement.  There has also been some criticism of the similarities between The Book of Eli and an indie comic published a few years ago called The Book of Jesse. I don’t know much about the comic (although I plan to investigate), but a lot of the rumblings over it seem superficial.

Some complaints were overheard on the way out about the movie being too religious, but let’s face it, if you didn’t know that going in, I don’t know how you even knew about the movie. It’s fairly obvious that there are religious and faith based themes involved.  I even saw buses that read “rELIgion is power” advertising the movie; it’s not like this was a secret.  Even so, where things could have gotten heavy-handed and sanctimonious in the film, they didn’t. The filmmakers went with a subtle approach that I really appreciated.

I’d see The Book of Eli again in a heartbeat.  In fact, I’m planning to. However, if you don’t like the idea of God contaminating your post-apocalyptic samurai Western, this isn’t for you.

Youth in Revolt is basically Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist crossed with Fight Club. Michael Cera once again plays a nerdy virgin (again named Nick). It’s a role he’s played time and again and seems very comfortable in.

Nick finds himself temporarily staying in a trailer park with his almost fifty year old mother and her boyfriend, Jerry, played by Zach Galifianakis. Jerry has brought the family to the park to avoid some trouble he’s created back in the family’s hometown.

Shortly after arriving in the park, Nick meets Sheeni Saunders played by Portia Doubleday. Sheeni is a the daughter of religious fanatics who dream of escaping the park for a cultured life in France. A romance develops between the two but is cut short by Nick’s family moving back home.

Nick, longing to return to the park and Sheeni, goes all Tyler Durden and invents a new moustached personality for himself named Francois Dillinger. With the help of Francois, Nick dreams up a plan to move to the park that involves a series of felonies that spiral out of control and hilarity ensues.

Justin Long and Fred Willard make notable appearances in the film, pretty much stealing their scenes.

This movie definitely has some laugh out loud funny moments and is pretty enjoyable overall. I wouldn’t argue, however, that it’s a must see in a theater type of film.

I do worry that Michael Cera needs to stretch as an actor if he wants his career to last beyond the next few years. Hopefully, Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World will represent such an opportunity.

Well, it’s the week before Christmas and all through the house… I don’t actually have a rhyme to go with that… Bottom line, I’m spending the weekend in sunny (or cloudy and rainy but still distinctly warmer and nicer) Florida. Heck, there’s a winter storm warning in effect at home for tomorrow night. Suckers.

Why do they even pretend to celebrate Christmas down here?

At home, they’re predicting a white Christmas. Down here they’re putting lights on palm trees.

Anyway, I took a break from the Operations Management final that I’ve been working on unsuccessfully for the last six days to join my wife for a trip to Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventure today. Since Pete is such a huge Marvel fan, I spent the day harassing him with photos from the park’s Marvel Island. Pete suggested that I should be posting the photos here as well to share them with the world. So since I’ve been too buried with school work the last few months to post much, I figured that sounded like as good of a way to jump back into it as any.

So we’ll start with the scene when we arrived at Islands of Adventure this morning.

The lack of people suggested to us that we had slept through the Apocalypse overnight and luckily survived.

While uncertain about the fate of the rest of the world, we headed over to the Spider-man 3D ride where the line was unbearably long.

Actually, it was just us and Doctor Octopus.

We rode the Spider-man ride that seats 12 or 18 people alone. Just the two of us. It was so romantic until the fires and spinning started.

That was the highlight of the Marvel section of the park until I reached the gift shop and saw this.

Psycho is right.

I have no interest in the Punisher. None. But that bobble head might be the greatest piece of Marvel merchandising I’ve ever seen. It’s better than all three of his movies combined… (and I’ve only seen two of them.)

I soon realized that there was a whole line of Marvel products in this awesomely cute style. Here are some highlights.

Amazing.

Spirited.

Unpredicatable.

All American.

Seeing the Hulk pin made me sad as they didn’t have a larger Hulk bobble head to go with the line, but they at least did design work on him. As it is, I may end up picking up a Captain America for me and Spider-man for Pete but I wish I was coming home with a Hulk as well.

The final couple of photos I’ll share with you tonight are below. While I’m not a huge fan of the Harry Potter movies, I know some people freak out for them. Well, you may have seen ads lately for Universal’s upcoming Harry Potter attraction as they have been airing incessantly on television. Here’s a sneak peak at the still under construction Hogwarts school. I believe it’s set to open in the Spring.

That’s it for today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll share photos of manatees and gators.

Other MLD writers have seen a preview of Avatar, and from what I could tell, weren’t very excited. A frequent MLD reader had attempted to organize an opening night viewing to see it fail…which seems like the opposite of seeing it fail to me. But whatever….it is clearly something that I don’t understand. What stands out to me as proof positive this movie will completely blow….The 12/3 episode of Bones on Fox was turned into an hour long ad for the movie. Showing “super nerds” extremely excited about it and waiting in line? Come on….this show has been getting fairly cheesy, but this is taking it a bit far. No wonder Kevin gave up on watching it.
Oh – and PS – the “hot nerd girl” being excited about Avatar….also not enticing at all. No one is getting flashed by someone attractive in a line for Avatar. # 1 reason….There will not be a line for Avatar.  Keep dreaming nerds. And enjoy 3 hours of your life stolen away by total suckiness.