So my latest distraction without any doubt is Betta Fish. And just this weekend while I was setting up a new tank I was thinking how stupid it was that no one had produced some sort of Aquaman line of fish tank ornaments. I’m convinced it would be like printing money. If I knew anything about how to do it, I ABSOLUTELY would be making Aquaman brand fish supplies and planning for my early retirement. Having said all of that, you can imagine my surprise when just four days later I stumbled over a new line of Marvel brand fish tank ornaments. As you read through this article keep in mind the photos were taken with a camera phone in a pet store and that I’m no photographer though I have to pretend to be one to write this column.

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This volume of I Don’t Even Like Marvel will be far shorter than the previous volumes because basically… I don’t even really like Marvel all that much and Heroics is a terrible line of toys in which to invest so much time and energy. Especially considering we’ve put almost no energy into discussing truly great lines like Funko Pop! or Mattel’s Action League. Having said all of that, I recently stumbled over a third set of Heroics figures at a local Toys ‘R Us.

This time the line was based on Disney’s Avengers major motion picture. I was tempted to buy the entire set just for the purposes of writing this article and because the figures looked pretty great in the artwork on the box. Luckily I came to my senses and realized that there was no real glory in continuing this mad pursuit of becoming the world’s foremost authority on the intentionally lowest quality line of comic book toys ever created. (I would have given that honor to DC’s Blammoids, but that line definitely wasn’t intended to be so low quality). Another reason I bailed on picking up more Avengers Heroics was that these were 20 percent more expensive than the previous lines. In the end, I decided to just pick up Hulk and Captain America which you may remember were the two characters I was so desperate to find back in Volume 1.

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With this weekend’s premiere of Marvel Studio’s The Avengers (and as part of our month long Standard Deviations series dedicated to the team), we’re taking a look at some past sets of variants shipped to coincide with the premieres of the solo movies featuring the Avengers’ “Big Three:” Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America. In this edition, we spotlight June 2011’s “I Am Captain America” variants that featured that employed a theme of celebrating the everyday hero.

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A few months back I wrote about Marvel’s Heroics figures. A series of tiny, blind boxed, 97 cent non-articulated figures. The figures walk an odd line between featuring detailed costumes while having almost blank faces. It was a sad tale about a quest for a Hulk or Captain America figure neither of which I found. This is a very different article. This is all about DC Heroics. And this time it didn’t matter who was in the plastic balls, because I wanted them all anyway. I’m a sucker for all things DC. Always have been. One thing I learned in purchasing this batch of DC figures is that if you turn the plastic ball so that the wrapper runs perpendicular to the split in the ball, you can place just a little pressure on the crack and it will open enough to allow you a peek at what figure is in the ball without actually opening it. Blind box foiled!

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While I’ll admit to a certain amount of fondness for the Hulk, Captain America and Iron Fist, for the most part I’ve never really been a fan of the Marvel Universe in general. So you can imagine my surprise at the number of Marvel toys I purchased over the last week at Walmart. This story actually starts a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon a display of balls. The display promised that each ball opened like one of those plastic eggs you see around Easter time and that within them would be a tiny Marvel figure. The line is called Marvel Heroics and among the photographs on the display were Captain America and Hulk. The balls were priced at just $.97 so I figured I’d buy one. At that price, why not!?

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