So my latest distraction without any doubt is Betta Fish. And just this weekend while I was setting up a new tank I was thinking how stupid it was that no one had produced some sort of Aquaman line of fish tank ornaments. I’m convinced it would be like printing money. If I knew anything about how to do it, I ABSOLUTELY would be making Aquaman brand fish supplies and planning for my early retirement. Having said all of that, you can imagine my surprise when just four days later I stumbled over a new line of Marvel brand fish tank ornaments. As you read through this article keep in mind the photos were taken with a camera phone in a pet store and that I’m no photographer though I have to pretend to be one to write this column.

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This volume of I Don’t Even Like Marvel will be far shorter than the previous volumes because basically… I don’t even really like Marvel all that much and Heroics is a terrible line of toys in which to invest so much time and energy. Especially considering we’ve put almost no energy into discussing truly great lines like Funko Pop! or Mattel’s Action League. Having said all of that, I recently stumbled over a third set of Heroics figures at a local Toys ‘R Us.

This time the line was based on Disney’s Avengers major motion picture. I was tempted to buy the entire set just for the purposes of writing this article and because the figures looked pretty great in the artwork on the box. Luckily I came to my senses and realized that there was no real glory in continuing this mad pursuit of becoming the world’s foremost authority on the intentionally lowest quality line of comic book toys ever created. (I would have given that honor to DC’s Blammoids, but that line definitely wasn’t intended to be so low quality). Another reason I bailed on picking up more Avengers Heroics was that these were 20 percent more expensive than the previous lines. In the end, I decided to just pick up Hulk and Captain America which you may remember were the two characters I was so desperate to find back in Volume 1.

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A few months back I wrote about Marvel’s Heroics figures. A series of tiny, blind boxed, 97 cent non-articulated figures. The figures walk an odd line between featuring detailed costumes while having almost blank faces. It was a sad tale about a quest for a Hulk or Captain America figure neither of which I found. This is a very different article. This is all about DC Heroics. And this time it didn’t matter who was in the plastic balls, because I wanted them all anyway. I’m a sucker for all things DC. Always have been. One thing I learned in purchasing this batch of DC figures is that if you turn the plastic ball so that the wrapper runs perpendicular to the split in the ball, you can place just a little pressure on the crack and it will open enough to allow you a peek at what figure is in the ball without actually opening it. Blind box foiled!

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Today sees the release of Marvel Comics’ new Incredible Hulk #1 by Jason Aaron and Mark Silvestri. As a long time Hulk fan (I’d argue long suffering… But that’s just me), I was very interested to see what Marvel had cooked up. I’m hoping we’ll see a return to a version of the character that sees his personality struggle as the core element of the series, but I have no real expectations one way or the other. PTB and I will launch into a spoiler-filled discussion of the issue starting right now…

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I don’t follow too many Marvel Comics titles very closely. For whatever reason I’ve always found their characters hard to relate to with the exception being the Hulk. He was my one Marvel character and I was ridiculously loyal to him for a long time. When I finally stopped reading the monthly Hulk title early on during Jeph Loeb’s tenure,  it had been at least eight years since there had really been a run with the character that appealed to me. That type of loyalty is kind of sad actually… but I’ve digressed. Jeph Loeb is gone. I’m back. And the number of Hulks seem to have multiplied considerably.

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