Other MLD writers have seen a preview of Avatar, and from what I could tell, weren’t very excited. A frequent MLD reader had attempted to organize an opening night viewing to see it fail…which seems like the opposite of seeing it fail to me. But whatever….it is clearly something that I don’t understand. What stands out to me as proof positive this movie will completely blow….The 12/3 episode of Bones on Fox was turned into an hour long ad for the movie. Showing “super nerds” extremely excited about it and waiting in line? Come on….this show has been getting fairly cheesy, but this is taking it a bit far. No wonder Kevin gave up on watching it.
Oh – and PS – the “hot nerd girl” being excited about Avatar….also not enticing at all. No one is getting flashed by someone attractive in a line for Avatar. # 1 reason….There will not be a line for Avatar.  Keep dreaming nerds. And enjoy 3 hours of your life stolen away by total suckiness.

Everything I write here would be completely meaningless if I didn’t mention the hours I’ve spent watching the Phillies this Fall.  I’m beginning this post 1.5 innings into Game 5 with the Phillies up 3 to1 in the game, down 3 to 1 in the series.  We’ll see how things change as the night progresses.

The schedule for the post-season is atrocious.  I understand Major League Baseball wants to make money, but this is ridiculous.  If you’re willing to have a game start at 2:30 in the afternoon, why not have a game start at 1PM?  This would allow all the games to start earlier and end at a time when everyone could stay awake to watch the late games end (barring extra innings).  And if a game is scheduled for the middle of a work day, it’s pretty clear that MLB is not concerned if anyone can see it (same goes for putting it on TBS, more on that later).  With this in mind, why can’t first and second round games go on simultaneously?  Also, while I can appreciate that Yankees and Red Sox fans are legion and spread all over the country, I don’t know that having your prime time games reserved for these franchises is worth marginalizing fans of other teams.

Baseball in November is just asking for trouble.  In 2001, the World Series was played in November for the first time as a result of the tragedy of 9/11.  Eight years later, it’s scheduled to go into November.  The days off are another cash grab for MLB and the networks so that they can have a prime time weeknight game as often as possible.  The ad dollars are so important, that there was nearly a week off between the end of the NLCS and the World Series so they could start on a Wednesday.  As we get deeper into the Fall, the weather in cities like Denver and Minneapolis are going to make it impossible for them to host games without delays.  This year’s post-season even featured a “snow-out” during the NLDS in Colorado.  Of course, the postponed games this year all happened to fall on Saturdays, the lowest night for ratings, and therefore, ad revenue.

The FOX and TBS broadcasts are awful for the most part.  Enough has been said about Joe Buck and Tim McCarver to fill a book, but TBS employed commentators that were unlistenable.  I don’t want cheerleaders for the big market teams, and I don’t want people that are showing that they don’t really know the game.  At the conclusion of NLCS Game 5, the play by play announcer called out “here’s the throw to the plate, not in time.” There was no throw.  I can understand getting caught up in a moment and missing something, but calling something that didn’t happen is borderline insane.

I’m not writing all this because I’m cranky that the Phillies are down in the series.  In fact, they’re up 8 to 1 and I’m still annoyed at MLB. I’m even annoyed that it’s so close to MLD.

Look Bruce Willis has made some of my favorite movies of the past 20 years. No one can really challenge the good movies on his resume… except my brother, but he’s dumb.

Surrogates is a bad movie. It’s boring. It’s humorless. It’s heavy handed in its commentary. It’s just not fun. I want better for Bruce Willis. I’d rather see another Whole 9 Yards sequel than him make another film this uninspired.

The basic premise is that technology that was invented to help people who are confined to wheel chairs or maybe to fight wars without losing American lives has been subverted to allow people to live artificial lives through robots. Fat dudes can control hot chick bodies and have relationships with other dudes and no one can tell the difference. Old people can run around in bodies that look decades younger and they do. People are living through their surrogates nearly 24 hours a day. They NEVER leave the house anymore. It’s like life only better. And if I remember correctly this evolution of human existence is supposed to happen within fifteen years. One of the key results of the emergence of surrogates, however, is that murder no longer exists.

There are small groups of humans who hate the idea of surrogates and live in reservations throughout the country that for some reason the government has no jurisdiction over. They’re led by a dude called the Prophet. Isn’t that a cool name? Too bad he’s in the film like all of three minutes…

Bruce Willis plays an FBI agent who misses having a human relationship with his wife who lives completely through her surrogate. Turns out something bad happened to them in the pre-surrogate era. Willis of course ends up investigating the first homicide in years and then a bunch of dumb stuff happens. Guns are shot. A helicopter crashes. People are betrayed. Nothing is as it seems. It’s all so shocking in its unoriginality.

The ending of the film is inexcusably convenient and undermines the entire conflict of the film.

Credit where credit is due, there is one visually interesting scene near the end of the movie, but of course it was spoiled in the commercials. Though to be honest, I’m not sure other people thought it was as cool looking as I did. There was A LOT of laughter in the theater during the scene and yet… no jokes. At the end of the flick a few people clapped and they were laughed at by the rest of the crowd. So someone somewhere did like it. But they’re probably dumb… like my brother.

photo courtesy of philly.com

Apparently, Michael Vick is an Eagle now.  He’s an incredibly talented athlete who did a terrible thing, as many do.  He went to prison for it, which most don’t.  The situation has been and will be talked to death, but it will change nothing.  This is happening and the focus will eventually shift to what he does on the field.  Redemption and second chances did not make this decision, money did.  The NFL is a business.  People have a right to be upset or even outraged by this, but there are a lot of highly paid athletes and celebrities who do bad things.  This is the unfortunate nature of modern sports and entertainment.  This signing won’t affect the team’s or the league’s bottom line, it may even increase it as everyone will be paying attention to what happens as the season goes on.

For the record, I don’t like this.  I’d prefer the team I root for not have this guy.  This will not change when he scores his first touchdown, or if they win a Super Bowl.  It just bothers me that many analysts said upon Vick’s reinstatement that there will be a team desperate enough to sign him, and the Eagles are now that team.

Also, someone in Chicago threw a beer on Shane Victorino while making a catch at the center field wall.  Honestly, who throws a beer?

I’ve seen my share of contrived fighting, and I think I saw some tonight.  The much hyped (in some circles) fight between Gina Carano and Cris Cyborg was presented by Strikeforce on Showtime tonight and things were definitely suspect.  First of all, the one girl is named Cyborg.  She may as well be part of Techno Team 2000 at that point, because that’s got WWE written all over it.  The fight seemed like it was being stretched for time throughout, and despite my rooting interests was soundly going in favor of the machine-woman.

Then I found myself asking “why would the clock disappear from the screen at the five second mark?” just before the referee called the match in favor of the Cyborg at the moment the horn sounded to end the first round.  I’m really surprised there weren’t twin referees at that point.  Despite the controversy the commentators kept pointing to, the decision stood and a new 145-pound Strikeforce Women’s World Champion was crowned.

I’m sure there will be a rematch, but I honestly hope there isn’t.  Gina “Crush” Carano could be doing so many better things with her time.  I can wait until she gets into some real fake fighting.