This has been a fantastic week if you like what I like!  So many great things have come together that I almost feel like it was planned.  Well, it was all planned, just not by me.  These are the things that made this week so nice:

X-Men Marvel Masterworks

The Marvel Masterworks line collects older comics in classy hardbound volumes.  The first 6 X-Men Masterworks volumes covered issues 1-66 of the book spanning 1963 to 1970.  Once those were published, I assumed the run would be over as at that point the X-Men were “cancelled” and the next 27 issues were reprints of previously published stories until the series was relaunched in 1975 with Giant-Size X-Men #1 and continued with issue 94 (collected in a separate set of Uncanny X-Men Masterworks).

Imagine my surprise when I learned that a 7th volume was being released last year reprinting X-Men appearances in other Marvel titles during the “cancelled” years (a period in which new stories of the X-Men were told in John Byrne’s X-Men: The Hidden Years series a few years ago, a title I loved but was cancelled prematurely by Marvel).  These are books I have been tracking down for years and I was thrilled at the prospect of a Masterworks edition collecting them.  The 8th and final volume was released this week and is currently in transit to my home.

Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine

Tonight I get a rare treat in being able to see one of my musical heroes, Jello Biafra, perform with a full band at my all time favorite Philadelphia venue, The Trocadero.  Before this show was announced, I almost bought tickets to see them in Brooklyn since it was the only East Coast show listed.  It would have been nice to see them twice, but an out of town show on a Thursday is tough, so I’m glad I waited.  After seeing Jello perform with the Melvins a year or two ago, I’m really looking forward to seeing him again (almost as much as Angie is dreading it).  It should be a great night of music from the new album, Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine, Jello’s work with the No WTO Combo and other songs from throughout Jello’s career with the Dead Kennedys.

WrestleMania featuring Bret Hart

This is one thing I really hoped I’d eventually get to see, Bret “the Hitman” Hart returning to WWE.  I know it’s all fake, and it’s not the highest form of entertainment, but I’ve been a fan of Bret Hart since I was around 11.  As you may have noticed, despite getting older I tend to hang on to the things I loved in my youth.  There have been countless times where I thought things were aligning for Bret to return (and I’m sure Kevin and Brian will be quick to point out how often I was wrong), but now it’s happening and it’s great.  They even threw in a Monday Night Raw with Bret Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin; it was like 1996 all over again! This Sunday, we’ll get one last WrestleMania appearance from the Hit Man, resolve the 13 year feud with Vince McMahon, and a legendary wrestler will get the send-off he deserves in one of the strongest WrestleMania line ups in years.

A week of deliciousness

Angie is the greatest.  For years now she’s been honing her culinary skills and has even gotten to the point where she’s so excited about the kitchen that she has to share it with the world.  This week she let me choose the menu and pick out some of my favorite meals in her extensive repertoire: pasta with chicken bolognese, enchiladas, and last night’s étouffé (my number one seed in Angie’s March Madness of Meals).  She was even willing to take a night off from cooking to get Chabaa Thai take out on Wednesday.  Above everything else this week, I am one lucky well-fed guy.

What started as a playful tete-a-tete on Twitter has become the next obvious choice for my posts here: Book Reports from an English Major. Don’t worry, I won’t subject you to 1500 word analyses. Consider this culture, boiled down for cocktail parties, or whatever non-alcoholic equivalent strikes your fancy. I’ll hit you with a 2 for 1 special each issue. Let’s strike up the band.

The Crying of Lot 49, Thomas Pynchon. Read during January 2010.

Often considered the earliest post-modernist author, Thomas Pynchon’s first novel length offering follows Oedipa Mas as she tries to unravel the mystery of the Tristero system, which is either an antiquated postal delivery system or a massive counter-cultural system linking all the marginalized dropouts from societies around the globe. What is revealed, piece by piece, is the collection of underground systems operating right under our noses here in America, outside the pale of the mainstream, daylight world. You know what else? None of it means anything. Or maybe it means everything. Either way, Oedipa won’t ever find out, and by the end of the book, neither will you. Funny, maddening and maybe a little paranoid. Recommended if you like conspiracy theories, drugs, and one-night stands related to the aforementioned. Not for the easily offended.

White Noise, Don DeLillo. Read late January/early February 2010.

If you like your post-modernism from an affable, ineffectual father who happens to head the Hitler studies program at College on the Hill in Blacksmith (KS? NE?) then DeLillo’s White Noise is up your alley. Jack Gladney is afraid of death. So is his wife. Their kids are smarter than they are. An emergency response unit works only on simulations, not REAL emergencies. An asylum burning and watching disasters on TV are entertainments in this book. You know that crappy band you like, Airborne Toxic Event? They got their name from the middle section of this book.

You know what? You can bypass this book altogether. Recommended if you have irrational fears about things you can’t control, like death. Not for people that want to spend their time reading something they like.

After looking at our visitor logs over the last year, I feel I have to do something about a group of states that never visit. You know who you are…well, you really don’t know who you are, do you…

Vermont…I actually like Vermont.  I had the pleasure of visiting in January once and remember it being impossibly cold. I didn’t mind it so much after seeing there were boats actually frozen into Lake Champlain. That’s really fascinating to me for some reason. I was even told there’s a ferry of some sort that goes between Burlington and New York that’s an ice breaker! How cool is that?

I’ve been as far North as St. Albans but never had the pleasure of seeing the actual town of Podunk, Satan’s Kingdom, or your very own lake monster, Champ. The UVM area seemed like a really nice place to go to school, but I would have withered and died in a place like that. Skiing for my degree just wouldn’t have been my scene. Credit is deserved for giving us Newhart, Ben and Jerry’s, and being the original home to Chester A. Arthur and his epic sideburns. Your faux French name also scores you some points, but nearly every time I’ve typed it today it initially came out “Vermin.”

Your ongoing battles with Bigfoot are always amusing, but I hear some of your citizens want to secede from the United States. I can’t get behind that. You have the smallest largest city in any of the 50 states and are second least populated, so I realize there aren’t that many Vermonters, but you should join the rest of this great nation and visit our site.

Image courtesy of Greenwich Mean Time.com.
Frozen vessel image by CArthur.

Other states that never stop by: Utah, Nebraska, Maine

Today you may have seen some dirty people walking around.  Dirt on their foreheads.  Possibly in the shape of a cross, but doubtful since most priests aren’t that precise.  It is Ash Wednesday.  For the next 40 days some people may give something up.  No chocolate, no ice cream, no sugar, no swearing, etc.  Many people will go vegetarian on Fridays.  Well – fake vegetarian….they will eat fish.  Giving up meat, oh my!  I don’t care what religion you are or even if you have no religion at all.  There is something great about this time of year.  Something that you can’t deny.

That something is Fish Commercials.  Most notably – the return of last year’s incredible McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish commercial.  It is awesome.  And I am looking forward to hearing it for 40 days.  I’m also looking forward to having a Shamrock Shake next month on my annual McDonald’s trip.

After looking at our visitor logs over the last year, I feel I have to do something about a group of states that never visit. You know who you are…well, you really don’t know who you are, do you…

Maine…monosyllabic Maine. No one’s even sure what you’re named for.

I once walked into Maine, but I didn’t get very far and I think I only stayed for lunch. It was really just for the novelty of being able to walk out of New Hampshire (I’ll get to you soon enough).

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that not many people from Maine visit since it’s apparent that there are way more trees than people up there, and trees don’t get the internet.  Maine has the lowest population density East of the Mississippi, and it really doesn’t get more East than Maine.

In doing a background check on Maine, the thing that struck me was that every city I could name was more famous for being somewhere else.  The capital, Augusta, Portland, Belfast and of course Norway are all conspicuously borrowed. I thought Bangor was original and then Angie pointed out to me there was a Bangor, PA. I have to hand it to them for a place like Beans Corner Bingo, that you’re unlikely to find anywhere else.

A number of movies and TV shows seem to be set in Maine, but The Cider House Rules, The Shawshank Redemption and  Murder She Wrote don’t really inspire me to visit. The Iron Giant, Dark Shadows (Angelique is named after a witch on that show), and Casper the Friendly Ghost are a different story entirely.

A lot of fun things have come from Maine; like Maine Coons, Moxie, Milton Bradley, and Matt Stairs, so maybe it’s not so bad. On second thought, Moxie is terrible.

I hear you’re beautiful Maine, and I’m sure I’ll be back. Just keep in mind that our site looks pretty nice too. So ignore all the mountains and Canada and look over here, Mainers, Mainards, Manians, or whatever you call yourselves, we get plenty of visitors from the other Portland.

Image courtesy of Greenwich Mean Time.com.
Moxie image by JoeShlabotnik/ / CC BY 2.0

Other states that never stop by: Utah, Nebraska